Book Review:  ‘My Walk to Equality

walk to equality

Walk to Equality

The theme for  the 2017 International Women’s Day was “Be Bold for Change”. The launching of the anthology on that day was a bold step toward putting the spotlight on woman issues  in Papua New Guinea.

The anthology is a 280 paged book containing 84 entries from 40 women writers – both established and emerging writers. The stories, poems, and essays contain accounts by women who are striving to create a better and stronger PNG for women with their words immortalized in this anthology.

The women, with brutal honesty tell their story, they give their solutions and ask the pertinent questions to probe further thinking that will require honesty and humility in addressing.

Rashmii Amoah Bell, the editor of the anthology says in her essay, ‘Embracing the dark future to see PNG emerge into the light’,  that change can happen through literature. She advocates the use of writing as a tool, to explore new grounds – including taboo subjects – as a means for starting conversations and looking for solutions.

This is one way PNG women can create a better and stronger PNG, by just telling our stories. Our stories may be accepted or they may be rejected but the stories will exist as a beacon in our walk to equality. Through our stories we walk into the dark future to emerge into light.

A. Be bold because courage is contagious

Being bold in the face of challenges is one way women can create a better and stronger PNG because courage is contagious.

Caroline Evari relocates with her family from Port Moresby to Oro and after a while, she moves back to Port Moresby by herself.

She goes through a lot of struggles but despite that she comes out a victor.  She says, “your mind is your greatest enemy, not the people around you.  Reach for the stars and keep running until you have achieved your goal.”

On the walk to equality, we have to be bold and courageous, because there are eyes watching.

As women, we ask for permission to do a lot of things, but the first thing we need to do is to give ourselves the permission to be great.

In Madlyn Baida’s story, a village lass, she wanted to learn to read and write and get an education. She allowed herself to dream. Once she knew her dream, she saw opportunities when they came up. Her husband was her support and enabled to achieve her freedom.

Be good at what you do because that is the currency that will take women’s voice onto the table for negotiations

To create a better and stronger PNG, we need to get more women into decision making positions so that they may show favorable consideration to the women’s walk to equality.

There is an adage that says, ‘if you are good at what you do, you will serve before Kings’. Do something with your life.

Be good at something. It does not matter what you do or whether you are as young as Iriani Wanma, the author of the grasshopper story or middle aged or somewhere in between. If you are good you will be favored. And when you are recognized, make use of your position to address the plight of the sisterhood.

We already have many role models who have done just that. Women can always match the stride of the society.  Some of these prominent PNG women include Winifred Kamit, Finckewe Zurenuo, Jane Mogina, Betty Lovai and the late Judge Davani, whose tribute can be seen in the anthology.

I am as proud of the sisterhood at the Division of Education in Simbu as told by Roslyn Tony. Despite a lot of push-back from a paternalistic society, these women acted with integrity and transparency and were eventually accepted as leaders in their communities.

B.      We have to be responsible for the sisterhood

Even if women make up 50% of the population, we are still treated as a minority due to our positions in the community. We have a duty of care to stand up for our sisters.

“If only I could save you, you’d still have a heartbeat.”  This eerie phrase from Vanessa Gordon’s Drum beat is haunting. It is full of regret. We have to take action to help a sister and the children and the helpless.

To help our sisters we have to know our rights.  Dominica Are tells the story of how Pauline saved her life by walking away from a bad situation all because she know her rights. Not many women have that knowledge.

It is our duty to teach as well as mentor other woman to be the best.  Alurigo does that with the XOX: We are Champions group. It does not have to be on the national stage but at our own little spheres of influence.

We have to support any form of education. The most inspiring story I read was by Alphonse Huvi from West New Britain.  Her father was against her education and did not make resources available, but, through support from her auntie Oripa, she became a teacher and was eventually accepted by her father. We have a duty to support our girls to get an education.

C.        Too big a work for women alone – Patriarchy can help

Patriarchy can play a big role to helping women build a better and stronger PNG.

In the anthology, there are six stories that pay tribute to patriarchy for being the source of strength for these six women. This shows the important role of the male gender in helping women in our walk to equality.

Helen Anderson in her essay Mixed race meri Markham pays tribute to her male relatives for helping her fit into her society. While Emma Wapki pays tribute to her male relatives for being fair, loving and supportive

The fine story by Alurigo on Sir Dawanicura is an example of leaders leading by example. He has brought a family friendly atmosphere to the PNG Olympics Committee. Family is the basic building block of society if we do not lead with wisdom and flexibility in this changing times, we can contribute to the breakdown in family, which will lead to breakdown in society, and eventually breakdown in the nation.

D.      The society will not change until the family changes

Families are the cornerstone of societies.  We learn how to be function as members of society by learning from within our family circles. We build from strength to strength when we have a stable roots.  A stable family can be the base for creating a better and stronger PNG.

Florence Jonduo   talks about parenting children says that the children are innocent, they are brought up without their permission and that is why, adults we have moral and legal obligation to look after them.  And whatever we teach them when they are young, sets them up for life.

But sometimes children turn out wrong. Whose fault is that when we observe generations of young people who have no plans for life,  “the lost men” as Marlene Dee Gray Potoura  describes the situation. Marlene asks a pertinent questions,  “Are the lost men the fault of women?”

Rosyln Tony also asks some very hard questions about why things are falling apart in our society. If we honestly answer the questions, we may find that it will lead us to families and that is where we may come up with long-lasting and meaning full solutions for the problems we see in our society.

Conclusion

No woman or group of women can fully address those pertinent questions single-handed. We need the help of society through policies and laws.

As we look at shaping policies for the future, I hope we all take those important decisions from the perspective of young mothers.

Lapieh Landu in her poem Fear Unbearable writes about her fears for her baby as she contemplates the future.  If all people responsible for creating laws can make those laws from the position of new mothers, looking at her helpless infant, then we may take all the necessary steps to secure a better future for the generation yet to come.  For we are fighting a cause that is not for us but for the future generation.

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Gender equality: Women must not be victims of a zero sum game

LIFE is a series of cycles.  The mitosis, the circadian cycle, the menstruation cycle, gestation, and the big one that encompasses them all is the life cycle – birth, senescence and death.

This is as nature intended; that we successfully pass on our genes.

Humans have developed habits to give our genes the best chance of survival. These habits become culture; culture, both good and bad becomes a way of life and children are immersed in it from birth.

The women used to be a revered gender because she was the garden that grew the tribe. Sex was just a holy dance for procreation.

 

She struggled for monogamy as a way of ensuring her investment for a better future is secured. He hunted while she nurtured the future generation. The man and the woman complemented each other.

But the circumstances that has shaped our genes and culture has changed. We are not living tribal lives anymore.

Gone are the days of wild animals and caves and the unknown. The woman does not need a protector anymore.

In the context of evolution, indeed, the world  has evolved to be a woman’s world.

In the safety and security of this era, the woman is given opportunities to reinvent herself. This is because she has time – time she did not have in the past being involved with child rearing.

Today, she is encouraged to get an education and a job and become independent before considering marriage and children. She is encouraged to take on more male roles.

The life code in all humans, however, has not changed at the same rate as the passing circumstances. The DNA from our forefathers is still swirling in our life blood: that man is built for hunting and protecting and leadership while woman is crafted for nurturing and supporting her man and family.

Even if she can now pay for what she wants with money, her dilemma is that she is still bound to her culture and her DNA.

Though liberated through education, yet not expunged from her duties; though liberated from gender restrictive ideologies, yet not free from the gender specific instructions in her genes.

It is in the woman to want to submit, to serve and to follow the lead of a man, but the catch: the man has to lead.

While giving more opportunities for woman to grow, the world seems to have assumed that man needs no adjustment and are doing just fine.  How wrong can we get?

In the absence of leadership by man, including leadership on women’s issues, she is getting restless and frustrated. It seems the harder she pushes for equality, the force of domination coming back is equally hard.

There has been increased injustice against woman perpetrated by man. Some of these include using woman as scapegoats in sorcery and witchcraft cases, polygamy, sexual assaults and using girls as a tribal bargaining chip.

Even the government seems powerless to stop violence and injustice against women.

The increased domination of women seems to be a signal that the opposite gender needs attention.  As a race, the male species have been neglected more than the female.

While she has programs for empowerment, he is expected to lead by instinct.  But boys also need to be interned into the ways of life.

With the loss of the ‘hausman’ (traditional men’s house – source of cultural heritage and instruction) and extended kin, the man has lost the training and initiation rites that signify that a boy has now become a man with a man’s responsibilities.

This loss of purpose has not been replaced adequately in a way that lacks equivalence to that which is happening with the women.

To empower and accept the changing identity of woman, therefore, is a societal issue. It is an issue that cannot be tackled by any one gender.

Because the disruption of the power balance signifies one winner and one loser, but life intended a complementary balance.

And action must be taken soon.

bagarapim-meri

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